Thirstday Thoughts: Worrying Too Much

Maybe it’s just that he doesn’t want to be too attached anymore.

Yes, I’d like to think that. He’s a special friend to me but I was never to him. I care for his wellbeing and his future just like how I care for my friends. He may be a little comedic but that’s what makes me drawn to him. He jokes at serious times because he thinks it gets boring when he pushes his eyebrows together when things don’t go so well.

It’s been roughly three months. We’re not having a fling or some sort. We’re just naturally friends and we’re nice to each other often but a part of him grew on me and immediately, I swear, he’s the sweetest.

Or maybe it’s just me having a coincidental debate in my head on whether or not people fake things based on how I act with them. I’ve encountered so many people that I know when to stop and not cross the line.

He’s by far the perfect friend anyone could ask for. His girl is so lucky to have him. Although, I think he doesn’t have anyone right now but he treasures his closest friends like they’re his world and I’d like that because no one really appreciates my whole being.

And then there’s that cold-waking-water-splashing-in-the-face we call the “reality” which is not particularly kind to anyone at all.

He doesn’t speak to me unless necessary. He jokes around but that was intented for us. I want him to know I exists. I want him to joke around me only. I want him to treat me like I’m his world. It’s too much to ask but sometimes girls just can’t help it, don’t they?

So to my dearest kind friend, I’m gonna wish you all the best. I mean it. We may not cross paths once again after all these school stuff but I wish no harm will fall to you as you chase your dreams. Have a good life and stay healthy. If you need me, I’m always here. Know also that I want you to know me more. Do not be afraid of putting more strings in your life because I’d be honored to be attached to you. I hope you live with the idea of not having to stop caring about everyone. Do not leave people behind too, no matter toxic they are. I hope you can trust me as I trust you because nothing beats more than kindness and a light heart. Attachment is synonymous to commitment. And commitment is what binds us. Thank you and Godbless.

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