A Not-So-Happy Father’s Day Letter

Before this day ends, I want to express my gratitude to the great father I never had.

I did it without you. With my grandparents paying for my school and granting my wants, fulfilling my needs, with my stressed mom giving me the best parenting on this stage of life and loving me til the end of time, I did it. Although not heroically but I still grew up into the best individual I could ever produce.

Well, not really.

I have a strong attitude of being spontaneous and this letter’s a mirage of what my soul has and what it did with God by my side and a few friends and books to help me get over. I never wished for a perfect life, only a contented one. This won’t and will neither express the bitter sadness in my existence nor will perform a shit-show about the dramatic scenes in my own broadway film. This is to give tribute to the father who, as I think I know, broke me more than for the last few years when I tried to reassemble my life into one of the most inspiring stories one could never wish for.

I know I’m a very difficult girl to understand but I trust you will. I am gradually on the state of losing my father’s mind over my spoiled rants but I’m proud of it. You ask why.

Because yesterday, I was finally a woman. He didn’t have to worry about me anymore. He didn’t have to think about my future anymore because he knows I can handle myself now. I’ve been on a ferris wheel who never goes around but only stays down. He was the cool guy you’d love to hang around with but never the guy you’d want to be with when you have a problem. He makes it worse. It’s the truth and I’m hurting his ego, well, you know how the saying goes.

But daddy, thank you. It was because of you that I learned how to handle myself without your guidance or anybody’s guidance at all. I learned how to become perceptive. I learned when to give up and not to give up. Though I don’t have many achievements in life, I’m still proud. I learned values and chivalry and respect by myself. Most of all, I learned how to appreciate people more than anything else.

If you think this is still a bitter letter, you wasted your time. But if you get my point, go on.

Today is the day I acknowledge myself as one of those strong-willed women and I will continue on being one because of the things you gave me no choice but to learn.

So I thank you.

It’s your day.

Live like a blessed man.

Hope for a better life for your family.

And when the time comes that you’d realize that I’ve become a beautiful person, I’d be there.

With love and for love, your daughter, Yna.

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